Safety net

I don’t even know what’s worth it anymore. I don’t know if holding on would hurt more or losing him would. I don’t know if I can pretend that I’m okay with not knowing if we’ll be in a relationship. He says he’s exclusive with me, but he can’t be committed. He says he really likes me, but he doesn’t see himself in a relationship. He tells me things he never tells anyone, yet there’s a boundary that lies as his girlfriend/not-girlfriend.

The more and more I continue pretending I’m okay with this, the more I feel like I’m being taken advantage of. The more I feel like Reed in this situation and he’s Morgan. It hurts. It really does. It’s like I know I’m being taken advantage of but I can’t realize that I can be treated better and there’s someone else out there. It’s like I think he’s the best I can do, and I can’t shake my mind off that.

Like what answer am I looking for? It’s like I’m waiting for him to change his mind, when it probably never will. I’m a fucking ditz who doesn’t know her worth and I know it. I know it and I’m not doing jackshit about it.

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