I moved to Cambridge a week ago, and honestly things have been looking up since. I used to be worried all the time during school, especially with exams, feeling left out with friends, when I lost my friend, and the worry of being pregnant. It’s like, I can be anyone I want to be right now, especially because no one knows who I am, but also, I need to set an image that I’m capable of this job. I never wanted anything more. I always say I want something, but only when it’s too fucking late. When I said I wanted to be in chem eng, I was failing everything. This time, I just want to be able to do this, right off the bat. I want this, I want this more than anything, and I want to be able to prove to them that I am capable. My biggest fear is staying at my desk and watching Youtube videos all day. I hate that feeling of feeling useless and incapable. I want to fill in Mak’s shoes and be able to make him proud, basically. Tomorrow’s a new day, and I’m definitely going to kiss ass and do things just so I always have something to do.
Honestly, I’m just excited for this part in my life where my main priority is my job. Where my whole life revolves around my career and nothing else. Where I stay overtime at the job, busy with papers and documents, and being the kind of person people can come up to and ask for help. I really want to prove myself and this is the perfect time to.
I’m super excited, and I’m not even concerned about meeting someone new, aka a new guy in my life. I’m genuinely just interested in my job, and doing things that made me interested in engineering in the first place. This is good. This is great. And honestly, I’ll keep you updated on it.
Until then, see you!